I must be crazy

I think the cold air has finally frozen my brain because I foolishly signed up for an interoffice volleyball match.

Tomorrow afternoon (Sunday) we are all going to a local sports hall to make a complete fool of ourselves. Everybody is in their 40s and 50s and most have beer bellys. There will be Russians, Germans, and Brits...sounds like a replay of WW2.

I hope nobody brings a camera!

If I survive a match report will be forthcoming

A Bright Sunny Day

When I woke up this morning the snow storm had completely gone. The sun was shining, the sky a clear brilliant blue. All around was a clean layer of white snow, a real picture postcard.

With a spring in my step I set off on the 10 minute walk to the office. I got about 20 yards and I started coughing. I got 50 yards and I stopped to put on my ski mask. At 100 yards I thought my nose was going to drop off! The rest of the walk was just plain painful...nice and sunny though!!

When I got to the office I had icicles hanging from my mustache and a wide eyed look of pure "oh my God that was cold"

I found out that the presence of the bright sunshine in Siberia is very deceptive...it was -35

All Quiet on the Western (Siberian) Front

The last 24 hours has seen nothing but snow, snow, and more snow! Last night it was a full blown blizzard, visibility down to a few yards. Glad I wasn't out in it.

There has been further developments on the hand soap front. (See previous article on "Things I hate...)
This morning a brand new batch of pump soaps appeared, and not the usual radioactive colors. No, we now have Milk and Honey soap, and yes it smells of milk and honey...kinda!

At the bottom of the label it says for dry, sensative skin...and yes that's just what I got after I'd used it!!!

STOP PRESS - Contact From Outer Space!!

I have not done the usual piece today due to the following photo that was found by this author. It proves beyond a doubt that there is intelligent life out there and they have sent us a message.

It is a picture of the Keyhole Nebula as taken by the Hubble telescope.

If you look at the upper left hand side you will see the message from our Alien friends!!

The Frozen Toilet - A scary but true story

Recently I went out to a Russian drilling rig to look it over before we started drilling. Of course it was a bitingly cold day around -30 deg C with a piercing wind.
As with all cold weather it caused a need to go to the toilet. I was pointed to a wooden shack sitting precariously on top of a snow drift off to the side of the location. The need was greater than the obvious dangers.
I opened the door slowly and looked into the dark interior. It was a simple interior with wood walls and a large round hole in the floor. The floor of the interior was wet with melted snow as the interior was heated by a small electrical heater( all mod cons! ). I stepped in to use this Siberian comfort station and two things immediately happened; one, I started to slide on the wet floor towards the gaping hole, and two, was hit by the most incredile stench I have ever had the misfortune to smell. I back peddled as fast as I could mainly to stop myself from falling into the hole, but also to escape the smell.
I took great gulps of the lovely fresh air as soon as I got out. But the need was even greater. I took a deep breath and plunged in, this time taking care to wedge my feet against the walls.
I looked into the hole to see, to my amazment, a brown stalagmite poking up to the level of the hole in the floor! I suspect all would have been well had they not put a heater in there thus melting the top of the brown stalagmite!!!
Never again!!

The Not So Bad List

This is to counteract the last list because not all is negative

1. Russian food - So far I have to say that the food is very good. Even this far away from civilization the veggies are fresh and the fruit reasonable. The soup we get at lunch is incredible it's called Bortsh (spelling?) They also serve a lot of fish, good for the heart!

2. The fresh air - No doubt about it the air is fresh. But it also has a crisp untainted quality about it. It really stimulates the appetite, if I needed any help!!!

More to come!

The Hate List

Here is the start of a list of things I hate about Russia.

1. Russian toilets - They are without a doubt the most disgusting toilets I have come across in my travels, closely rivalled only by raghead ones.

2. Russian toilet paper - Firstly it usually comes in a lime green color, and has the surface texture of 150 grit sandpaper, I kid you not!

3. Hand soap - Comes in very weird toxic waste colors and smells like cheap flowery perfume. It also strips any and all of the moisture content of the skin


Watch this space for more

One week on

Unbelievable the way time flies when your having fun. I've been in Novy Urengoy, Siberia for a week already. The weather is the main problem and also the main source of amazement. These are definately the lowest temperatures I have ever experienced and it's March already. This last week has been around -20 deg C with an unusual day of only -2. The coldest day was at -32 . Apparently at this time of year the temperature can vary a good deal... no kidding.

The office I work in is heated to tropical levels and also the living accomodation, so coming and going means putting clothes on and taking clothes off, putting clothes on and taking clothes off etc.. Despite all protests I have opened my office window I can't stand this stuffy heat, and the locals are not too fond of using deoderant either!!